The photos in this post are from a trip to Iceland.

Thinking about ADHD meds

I’ve been on ADHD medication, methylphenidate, for a couple of months now. The dosage has changed and the brand has changed. Have I? It’s hard to say. I feel less anxious on a day-to-day basis unless I’m pushed for time and I have to choose something. That’s probably an autistic side issue and outside the scope of the medication. Only I can resolve that one. The anxious feelings I had before heading off to jobs seem to have subsided. Maybe I’m not overthinking as much about whether or not I can do something I can do?

Can I sit down and work without jumping between Google and work? Can I get the boring tasks done? Amazingly, yes. It’s the 5th of April today and the end of the tax year. I’m up to date on all invoicing, mileage logs, and receipts. I could do my tax return next week if I wanted to. I still have a lot of photo editing to finish, but generally, I’m getting important things done.

Since starting the medication I had planned to go all in on a task manager called Things. I haven’t yet. There’s the whole issue of imperfection whereby Todoist has features I like, and Things also has features I like. Neither is perfect so I can’t choose. My task management is split and messy. I need to resolve that.

Would I say that the meds work? Honestly, it does not feel like they do. I take my morning pill and feel nothing. No energy boost, clarity of thought or eagerness to do my accounts. I do sit down and work with a reduction in impulsive task switching. I’m still easily distracted if I choose to be, but I’m maybe more aware of that and better able to resist. If the meds are working then they work like my hearing aids. I’m unaware of their utility unless I stop using them.

I wish I could take the medication and get everything done. My personal Instagram account has fallen by the wayside when I should be using it to promote my work. My business account is doing OK though. I had planned to empty our front room so someone could sort the issues in there, but I’ve not yet done that either. My portfolio needs a lot of work. The personal blog, travel blog, bank account switch, etc all need sorting. There are many thoughts in my head. The medication isn’t a magic switch that removes ADHD. My hearing aids do not enable me to hear every word, they only boost certain frequencies and give me a better chance of hearing something. I have to remind myself of this each day.

Am I getting things done? Yes. Everything? No. Should I be? No, and that’s OK. Given everything, I’m doing OK and that is something to be happy about. Year of being OK.

After 2 months I would recommend the process to others. If you suspect ADHD is something affecting your life talk to your GP. Get on the waiting list ASAP. It’s taken me 2 years to get to this point. While you are waiting try and find ways to integrate ADHD into your life instead of doing what I did which was waiting for medication to resolve some issues. I’ve integrated ADHD into my photography well enough, but boring business sides I fail at. I hoped the medication would fix this and it hasn’t. I’m a leaky pot that needs a lot of little patches. Bad at carrying water, but great at keeping the right sort of plant and soil in. Does that metaphor… hold water? Medication is part of the answer, not a magic fix. Talk to people if you need help and be open to the process taking time.