30 days sober

As I write this I’ve been sober for 30 days. The longest I’ve been sober in about 10 years. An instruction on my ADHD medication says to not take alcohol with methylphenidate, or caffeine. I had to decide whether I wanted to be productive or enjoy whisky and coffee. Now, for me, coffee was easy to give up as it did not give me any morning boost. Decaff is fine. Whisky and beer though, trickier.

When I drank it was 14 units or less most weekends, with the occasional bit extra if I found a nice 8% IPA. Thankfully there are plenty of 0.5% alcohol-free beers on the market now. While I’m more of a craft beer person, I found Peroni 0 to be close enough to Peroni 5.4% to be a good replacement. Moretti 0, was not a good replacement, for me anyway. I appreciate the bigger brands trying as that’s how most people are going to see change.

After 30 days of hitting my water goals, drinking 0% beer and not having caffeine, how do I feel? Baby soft skin? Clarity of thought that could cut a cucumber? I feel… fine. From reading people’s stories I expected more. Life changing for some. A person on Reddit who drank a similar amount to me said being sober essentially cured their anxiety. This hasn’t happened for me. I’ve been disastrously anxious in the past 30 days. Anxiety is a side effect of the ADHD medication. Year of “Being OK”. My brain/body is going through a fair bit. Change might not be instant.

I wanted an immediate effect. If giving up whisky meant I could get up at 6 am every morning, go for a swim, think clearly and make good decisions during the day, never worry about that one camera bit I lack, and feel confident about myself after 15 years of being a photographer then it would have been worth it. Maybe by removing caffeine, and alcohol, adding more water and exercising I’m seeing that at my core Autism is the cause of a lot of my issues and there’s nothing I can do about that outside of acceptance.

30 days sober. Not enlighted yet. Would I start drinking again if I came off the ADHD meds? Hopefully not. I think it might be better to be sober than drink. If there’s a chance it adds to my anxiety then that should be enough to stay sober. Also, I may be having a gout bout which is exacerbated by beer and whisky. My future is sober.

While I haven’t had a life-changing experience, society works for many people. If you’re thinking about trying it there’s lots of help out there.