> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://pete.news/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Communication - URL: https://pete.news/hellocomputer/communication/ - Published: 2019-12-20T14:00:21.000Z - Updated: 2024-03-25T20:24:44.000Z - Author: Pete Carr - Tags: HelloComputer, #ToSort, #HelloComputer, anxiety, social media, #wordpress # **hello friend** It’s been a week since I last emailed and it feels a lifetime ago. I’ve been to Manchester for a comedy gig, had a migraine, had a Christmas Party, caught the flu, seen the new Star Wars and I’m writing this on the train to London. How was your week? On my blog I discussed how [community might help with mental health issues](https://www.littletimemachine.com/2019/11/community/). I do feel that I get a boost from hanging out with people in the real world. It’s hard work for me to simply hang out with people that in doing so I feel like I’ve won a marathon at the end. I’m tired but elated. However with the release of the new Star Wars film this week I was reminded of the fact that I no longer belong to a geeky community any more. A safe space to discuss the latest episode of something. A place to bounce ideas around with friends about what might be next. ![L1110722.jpg](https://pete.news/content/images/wordpress/2022/08/6f54cfb8-b5ee-48ed-9b75-7b85cff4db56_2048x1365.jpg "L1110722.jpg") I used to be on forums where threads would be setup to discuss these things or going back further IRC channels. I know there are Facebook groups but I generally dislike Facebook and don’t wish to give it content unless absolutely necessary. It’s a shame that the easiest way to setup a community now is to create a group on there. I’m part of a real world community that meet up infrequently and because of that use Facebook to chat and become better friends. It’s like everyone wanted to go to McDonald’s but I preferred Burger King because their burgers are superior so I’m sat there being technically right and also alone. So the question there is do I suck it up and give in to Facebook? We live in a time of Slack (IRC for creators), Discord (IRC for gamers), Microsoft Teams (IRC for offices), IRC (IRC for no-one), Twitter, WhatsApp, Signal, Telegram, Instagram, EyeEM, Flickr (Still a thing), Facebook, YouTube, Vimeo, Mastodon (Decentralised twitter), tumblr, etc. Yet I can’t find friends and community online. Is the problem choice or something simpler? Is the problem me? ![London-L1190782-Pete-Carr.jpg](https://pete.news/content/images/wordpress/2022/08/5f021fda-534d-4f82-b82d-502444b5192e_2048x1365.jpg "London-L1190782-Pete-Carr.jpg") It’s entirely possible the problem is not in the cloud but in myself. For a long time now I’ve held back from being myself online. Which is interesting for an autistic person. I grew up on the internet and I found a home where I could be myself. A place where I could unmask, not have social anxiety issues and be my “normal” autistic self without issue. I often said that there was an offline me and an online me. Others I met said they were the same person but I knew differently. I knew the offline me was masking to fit in to an neurotypical world even if I wasn’t aware of being autistic at the time. Unfortunately that online me was basically Sherlock from the hit TV series Sherlock. A person so sure of being technically right but also alone. I wasn’t aware of those character traits being an autistic thing. I simply saw everything logically and couldn’t understand why others didn’t see it the same way. The [National Autistic Society claim that Sherlock may have been on the spectrum](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/10521128/Sherlock-Holmes-is-autistic-leading-charity-claims.html) and say; *“…their focus, passion about certain subjects, stubbornness, and a lack of understanding of sarcasm and the unspoken rules of social interaction could all point toward to the autism spectrum.”* Of course it’s a generalisation of autism but I can identify with it. This lead to a time where I was part of a real world community that also interacted online when we couldn’t meet. A great way to keep the conversation going. Unfortunately my Sherlockness, my desire to try and to the right thing, what I believed to be the best thing for the group wasn’t appreciated by all. There was arguments and I lost what I thought to be friends. I sank into depression. It was not a good time for me. The only logical decision was to suppress that side of me and be more withdrawn. I accept my part in those days and maybe things would have been different if I knew I was autistic and how that affected my interactions with people. After those days I decided the best way to avoid terrible depression was to mask both online and offline. In order to have better mental health I had to take a step back from being myself and from being part of communities. ![L1070864.jpg](https://pete.news/content/images/wordpress/2022/08/050d5b39-e47f-4007-8e0b-eccfb8db3b42_1365x2048.jpg "L1070864.jpg") Which leads me back to today where I have no place to discuss the things I love because I fear for being too myself and losing friends. So maybe the fault really isn’t in the services but in myself. I could pay $5/month to join a Slack community for a podcast network I enjoy but I dislike the idea of losing both money and new friends. I’m not sure I really work online or offline. I do see a reflection of myself in the modern TV character of Sherlock. I would prefer to see myself more as Data but even Captain Picard told Data to shut up now and then for being too himself. So I am left trying to find balance, trying to find a place to be myself and trying to decide what myself is. Having an autism diagnosis has helped shed light on the issues but living with them on a daily basis can be hard work. --- ![](https://pete.news/content/images/wordpress/2022/08/84aea5d5-70d8-45e1-9662-6f9e47f6b117_680x680.jpg) --- # **Christmas Prints** ![image_1.png](https://pete.news/content/images/wordpress/2022/08/3a43173d-bab7-4f3b-8460-3bff7c5446e2_1000x667.png "image_1.png") There is still time to get a print for Christmas. UK delivery deadline is 23rd Dec. I’m giving you, dear subscriber, 25% off my [print store](https://petecarr.photoshelter.com/gallery-collection/Print-Library/C0000pPHK9YwJKC4) right up to 25th Dec. So you can use it on Christmas morning if you really want to. Code: **pikapika** (not case sensitive) – 25% off Prints include [NYC](https://petecarr.photoshelter.com/gallery/Travel-Prints/G0000w19fsYpWC1k/C0000pPHK9YwJKC4) , [Liverpool](https://petecarr.photoshelter.com/gallery/Liverpool-Prints/G0000JQwmT5sN9vw/C0000pPHK9YwJKC4) , [New Brighton](https://petecarr.photoshelter.com/gallery/Wirral-Prints/G000016ie5J1RHX0/C0000pPHK9YwJKC4) and [Iceland](https://petecarr.photoshelter.com/gallery/Travel-Prints/G0000w19fsYpWC1k/C0000pPHK9YwJKC4) . — [2019 Print Store](https://petecarr.photoshelter.com/gallery-collection/Print-Library/C0000pPHK9YwJKC4) — --- # **(ext)links** [A photographer’s intimate portrayal of her brother’s autism – British Journal of Photography](https://www.bjp-online.com/2019/10/a-photographers-intimate-portrayal-of-her-brothers-autism/) [Top 10 architecture of 2019](https://apple.news/AyU7DD%5F-XPYac6eUKJrV5nQ) [The seven most terrifying Christmas traditions around the world | Life and style | The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/dec/18/the-seven-most-terrifying-christmas-traditions-around-the-world) – Christmas is lots of things to lots of people. Why do we accept its dry meat and plastic boxes? Why can’t we have scary ass demons too? ---