Doing the North East Skinny Dip

I got naked in front of nearly 1294 people and ran into the North Sea. How was it?

Being naked at the North East Skinny Dip

For my 47th birthday I took part in the annual North East Skinny Dip (NESD). I was completely naked in front of 1,294 people (and support crew), some of whom had cameras, and it was an amazing morning. But why do it? For me it's to see if I can. For the people I was naked in front of, this was why they took part.

We were naked at dawn, and it was unexpectedly freeing. Fifteen years on from cancer - it feels like a long time, yet not a day goes by that I’m not reminded when I look in the mirror. Standing there together - all shapes, all stories - I felt free and brave and happy. Maybe that’s the start of embracing my body and moving on 🥰

For me, it's so liberating to let go and embrace the freedom and the wild. As others have said, such a great leveller, we are all one and equal, there's no telling who is a 'successful' high-flyer, or who is barely scraping by. Just revelling in each other with no judgement.

Stripping off and running into cold water might sound wild. But for me, it was about freedom, vulnerability, and connection. So many of us hide how we really feel. This event is about letting go of shame, embracing who we are, and showing that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

I dipped to celebrate life in all its human forms. Unclothed we are humbled, levelled and elevated all at the same time! And on a personal note for me it was a chance to embrace my new form.

I swam to offer my loving kindness to humanity in a difficult time for all. When stripped of our outer trappings, we are all one...

5am. I eagerly arrived at the car park and beat the queue of people to have a smooth check-in process. Only people with a ticket are permitted onto the beach, and with 1,295 people to check-in I thought it best to arrive promptly. Plus I was super excited. Once my ticket was scanned I wandered onto the beach and was told I could ring the first timer bell. "Ding ding." I had arrived, unfortunately and understandably on my own.

My wife declined to join the skinny dip, which I 100% respect. She got me into swimming and loves a big swim more than I do, but she doesn't enjoy cold water dips like me. The dopamine empowering cold water dipping is not for everyone, let alone naked dipping. Unfortunately spectators are not allowed at the event. I asked the organiser if I could get my wife a ticket and have her look after our gear while we dipped, but they said no. Only the support crew and skinny dippers are allowed entry. It is not a spectator event like the World Naked Bike Ride can be. Would you get naked in front of a clothed audience, or a group of clearly like minded people? By making it skinny dippers only it creates a safe space where you never wonder who that random clothed person is and whether they photographed you.

By about 5:30am people were flooding onto the beach. Drums were sounding, fire dancing was occurring and the sky was slowly getting brighter. While I arrived on my own, I was there to meet a friend who attended the previous year and the photos they took, before they dipped, made the event look unmissable. I met up with them and they introduced me to their group. Meeting new people is hard with social anxiety. But when my brain tips more toward ADHD hyperactivity than autistic sensory overload, I can actually manage it.

Around 6:30am we started preparing to get ready for the dip. I stripped off and threw my rainbow towel robe on with a SmocSmoc coat (A Welsh Dryrobe) to stay warm. I checked on who was consenting for photos and watched the beach fill up. It was busy. Really busy. We all hoped the clouds would break and the sun would come out to warm us up, but it didn't. Suddenly, around 7am, a Mexican wave like effect took hold and everyone around us stripped off and ran towards the sea.

"Oh dip! Let's go!" I thought. Naturally my second thought was "Camera settings." It was fiddly as anything using my sandwich bag splash protector but I managed to get the camera working. I wanted blurry almost watercolour like photos mixing skin and sea as we rushed in. By the time I got in I could not see the people I was with. This was mainly because I was trying not to look at anyone. It was a natural reaction as if we were in a changing room at the local pool. We all know not to look. Except I needed to find folk, and also shouldn't it be OK to look? Look, maybe, but obviously not stare. If it weren't for the 8 to 10 foot high waves crashing over my head I think it would have been nice to stand there for a moment and take it all in. To see everyone in all their normal imperfect ways.

We hide our bodies behind our clothes, hide our issues away and hope no one sees. I know I used to. I used to wear baggy black clothes so no one would see that I was fat, but really I was hiding that from myself so I could avoid dealing with it. I'm still fat, but I've dealt with it now in a way that is healthy. When I can I work out. I wear clothes I don't mind looking fat in and I stand proudly on a beach completely naked in front of others as a wave knocks me over. In the same way that is important for me to see male bodied people wearing skirts so I feel less alone, it is important to see people naked so we can see the human experience for real. Imagine if we were able to accept that we are just like them, but also different and it's OK.

A wave knocks me over. I keep the camera out of the water, just. "Did I just see a horse?" A photo later reveals it to be someone in a horse mask. I wish I could have taken their portrait in that mask. The waves are epic and I wade back to land to drop off the camera. It's too chaotic for this little sandwich bag to handle and I opt for the iPhone instead. As I'm heading back I see the official photographer and run over for a photo. There is no hesitation, no anxiety, and no thought about how I look after 10 minutes in cold water. Days before the event I was concerned about being photographed, and yet there I was not even thinking about it. The power of a functioning brain in action. No overthinking, anxiety, worry, doubt or disbelief. I had let it all go. I actually had for once in my life. I smiled, posed with my thumbs up and headed back into the water.

It's been about 10 minutes and maybe two thirds of people have got out. My friends are hardy and staying in. We jump about in the waves till about 7:30am and head back in. The water temperature that day was 13°C. Fresh but I never felt put off by the cold and was riding a proper dopamine high. At no point did I think "Boobs! Willies! Good gosh!" We were dancing in the waves like everything in the world was actually, briefly, fine. Which, for that moment, absurdly, it was. We're fine. We're all fine here.

Eventually we do have to get out as the rough rule for cold water dipping is 1 minute per degree, Celsius of course. It was 13°C and we'd been in for 30 minutes. Oops. As I got out I noticed the artist doing body painting and again, without any thought I ran over and joined the queue. This is where it did feel a little surreal. The queue for body paint was next to the very very long queue for breakfast. Everyone in that queue was dressed and getting warm. I was still completely naked. For the first time that morning I felt naked. Oh I was still fine with it all and riding the dopamine high, but it was a fascinating moment to have. The artist covered me in colourful body paint and glitter and I ran off to find my group.

By this point they were also fully dressed. As I was covered in paint I couldn't put anything on to warm up. Plus I had never been art before and figured that I should continue being art for a little while longer. My friend got out some cupcakes and the group sang happy birthday for me. A completely surreal moment where I'm naked, covered in body paint and everyone else is fully clothed and singing happy birthday. Wild.

While eating cake I saw a group of women who also had body paint on and ran over to get a group photo. The H (Hyperactivity) in my ADHD was on fire. "Oh look! whooosh" Again, no anxiety. A completely naked me ran over to naked women and asked for a group photo. One woman asked "Front or back?" and I said backs are fine. It felt odd to say front, but upon seeing the photo later and how faded my paint was on my back I should have said front. In that moment though, my thinking was that I don't know these women and it seemed weird to have a photo of them naked. Should it have been? At that moment it was 4 amazing people, looking amazing while standing on an amazing beach. Quite simply it should have been a good photo. Was I defaulting to identity protection, even though they offered? Was my autistic brain thinking it would be awkward to look at the photo after due to eye contact? I can't say.

Me, myself and 3 others who just got covered in body paint.

It was 7:53am and I had basically been running around naked on the beach for an hour. I headed back to the group for more cupcakes and a warm cup of tea. At this point I was feeling the cold and put my rainbow towel hoodie on along with my coat to warm up. After doing so the sun came out and people started stripping off and running back into the water to get a better photo of their naked beach morning. "Sure, why not?" I thought, and I was again naked. No anxiety, just the actions of a confident person somehow able to be in the moment and make decisions. Incredible. Imagine being this way every day? Not rash or foolhardy, but confident. No "What ifs?" Just confidence.

I took more photos of my body painted nakedness and by 8:20am I washed off what I could and decided I should get clothed to warm up. Most people had left the beach by now. It was odd to see that so many people stripped off, ran in and out and left after 10 minutes. Fair play to them for being there, but for me it was a whole morning event not just the dip. I chatted to the people I was with for a while, shared Celebrations and eventually we said our goodbyes. Still I wasn't ready for the event to end. I saw some people running into the water from the saunas that were set up on the beach, and so I took a few photos using the sun to create silhouettes. As they got out I chatted with one of them and she asked if I could send her a copy of the photo. Instinctively I went to my Instagram profile so she could scan it. A second later I remembered I was talking to a completely naked woman with no pockets for a phone. We laughed.

Slowly I made my way along the beach towards the exit where I was offered a free hug, from a rare clothed person. Maybe next year's challenge is naked hugs? An interesting way to collaborate on body painting. We chatted for a bit and at 9:25am I was one of the last participants to leave. I had been there for 4.5 hours and done it all, apart from the sauna. I'll book the last timeslot for that next year.

Before we left on this trip I was depressed. My tooth broke. Money is tight, work is sparse and my health is problematic. I felt worthless. Why celebrate me? I am worthless. I'm nearly 50 and can't make my life work. What was the point in continuing it, let alone celebrating it? These feelings are, unfortunately, not unusual for me. As I wrote in my journal 3 years ago;

Usual worry throughout the day about not feeling worthy of being celebrated. One day I'll be happy with cake, whisky and a walk in the rain. I don't need anything else. Experiences over stuff. — 27th Sept, 2022.

This is something I need to recognise and prepare for in the future. Fighting depression is challenging. Yet I came home from my birthday weekend away feeling great. How?

To quote my often quoted favourite film, The Matrix.

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

What brought me out of my depression was not a change in my life. I was no richer and my health issues remained. What changed was me. My issues were the spoon, and I couldn't try to bend them to my will. That's impossible. So what if, for a time, there were no issues, no spoon? By being daring, brave, and facing fears I changed how I saw myself and the world. I proved to myself that I can live. My mental health reset back to a point whereby I can continue being me. Will I remember this next year? shakes Magic 8 Ball "Ask me later."

Yet again I find myself doing things I never thought I could do, and they are things that most people would never do. I challenged myself and did everything possible at NESD. Dipped 3 times. Posed for a photo by a photographer. Stood around naked in a queue for all to see without feeling shame for how I looked, even after the cold water shrinkage kicked in. People queuing had nothing else to do but watch as I was covered in paint. There was no protection from the sea for my nether regions, and I felt no anxiety. No social anxiety. No body issues about being overweight. No depression. For a brief few hours I lived without fear by doing something most would fear, past me included.

What does that all mean? I started the year writing about whether 5 years of cold water dipping had liberated me from my fears. 9 months on and I find myself perfectly at ease being naked in public, even when most aren't. Yet 2 days beforehand I feared for my own future. I have not liberated myself from my fears, but I have faced a good number of them. How do I use this to face future fears? Is it possible that my autistic ADHD (AuDHD) brain requires me to be an adrenaline junkie in order to function? I need deadlines to get work done. I need that rush of living on the edge to push me to make something of myself. That is unfortunately a classic ADHD trait, one I haven't figured out how to properly utilise.

For now, NESD has left me feeling confident about being me... a little anyway. I feel absolutely confident in being able to photograph people naked without it feeling weird. Photographing people covered in body paint could be interesting. I'd like to photograph life models, and definitely give life modelling a go. As soon as I can I'll be booking for NESD 2026 and maybe even try a World Naked Bike Ride one day? Maybe... If anything, NESD has left me feeling like the journey I've had through swimming, skinny dipping and this newsletter has led me to knowing that there are ways and places I can function. All these little tests, and wonderings have indeed helped with my confidence. Awesome, now how to make money? Naked TED talks?

More photos of the event can be found on my portfolio blog.