Finally learning how to relax

After years of trying to find ways to relax with video games, I've discovered a different way doing something I never thought I could. Drawing.

Puffin

Finally learning how to relax

Over the years I’ve struggled relaxing be it on the beach or the couch of an evening. Switching off is not something I can easily do. My ADHD brain doesn’t stop thinking, and as a freelance photographer, there is always work to be done. So I’m busy, all day till I go to sleep.

While I’ve been a gamer for as long as I can remember I never found them relaxing. Fun yes, but relaxing? I get bored playing relaxing games. I have to do something. I can spend hours tweaking a city plan, or slowly making my way through the years in Civilisation but again, I’m doing stuff and maybe not relaxing. Plus it’s almost impossible to sit down and play a game. By the time you’ve waded through updates or network issues, you’re too annoyed to relax.

Of my many hobbies, thanks ADHD, what could I do to relax? I tried to get into knitting a few years ago as that is something that doesn’t require software patches (although end products do require patching). It’s something you can do while watching the TV or listening to a podcast too. More importantly, it is good for your mental health. You spend time focusing on learning something new and when you’re done you have something to show for your time. That triggers joy. You can even gift it to someone, more joy. So knitting, is that how I relax? No. I got distracted by something else. Nudity.

Nudity can be distracting, what with all the wobbly bits wobbling, but I found it helped me focus. A few years ago, while trying to get into knitting, I was distracted by life drawing. My drawing skills are right up there with my archery skills. I can hold the thing but I can’t make it go where it needs to go. So, with absolutely no experience and confidence in my inability to draw, I went to a session. I’m sure the dopamine hit from exploring something new and exciting helped with my art attempt. It felt like my first time in cold water. Oddly not scary and something I seemed OK at doing, so I continued. Relaxing though? No, but the confidence in my ability to draw led me to where I am today.

Today I find myself sketching on my iPad in the evenings while watching TV or listening to a podcast with my wife. It's fun to experiment with landscapes, starships, portraits and birds just to see what happens. Just like life drawing or getting into a cold lake, I find it helps keep me focused on the task. You could call it mindfulness, with boobs and willys. I try and do a new picture each night. That’s mainly because I know my ADHD gets bored easily, and it also means I finish the sketch and feel like I’ve achieved something.

Somehow staring at naked strangers has led me to find a hobby that helps me fight depression and helps me relax. It’s important when fighting depression to do things and feel a sense of achievement. I really enjoy it. It feeds my curiosity, I’m learning new skills, creatively playing around and being a little bit silly because why not? I prefer this to video games, which I’ll still collect video games and never play, but if I’ve got time to spare I will happily do some art, badly and relax.

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