My bum was censored

While doomscrolling Facebook the other day I bumped into a photo of our New Year’s Day dip. It showed lots of people splashing about in the water, having fun, wearing fancy dress and starting their 2026 Instagram feed off with #PositiveVibesOnly. The photo also showed my wife walking alone, which struck me as odd since I walked alongside her to the water’s edge. I zoomed and enhanced to see that I was indeed not there. However, my reflection was. I had been erased, from existence! Not unlike Marty McFly’s brother in Back to the Future. Great Scott!

My swim attire that day was my annual celebratory thong which I wear for a few reasons. Firstly, to challenge my own fears about what I can do. Younger me would say, “No! You can’t go out like that!” Current me would say, “Why not?” If I’m worried that people might see my bum, women’s swimwear shows more than men’s. No one is outraged about that – well, except the Daily Mail, who’ll body‑shame women in bikinis on one page and sexualise them on the next.

Which leads me to my second reason: to highlight gender inequality in swimwear. If women can wear thongs, why can’t men? They were first worn by men after all. Classic answer: “No one wants to see that.” “No one” usually means the man saying that sentence doesn’t want to see that. I doubt he’d have any issue with a woman in a similar outfit, especially as I was topless. Ignoring the thong, why does women’s swimwear show more bum than men’s? What practical reason does this serve?

This issue has been highlighted in the Olympics (many times), in handball, and I’m sure will be again. If it’s simply because women’s bums are meant to look better in a thong than men’s, who decided that? It’s not a provable scientific fact. It’s the whim of society at that time. You may get a different answer in 1,000 years. I’d like to say you could point to the photo of me wearing one as when things changed, but I’VE BEEN ERASED!

Thirdly, for comfort. I enjoy wearing a thong at the beach. It’s as close to skinny‑dipping as you can get (ignoring fig leaves or body paint). I recommend getting one – there are male ones out there – and having a splash about sometime.

Which brings me to my final reason. It’s just silly, and it is good not to take life too seriously.

Had I been discriminated against? Quick, someone get the Daily Mail on the phone (although they’d surely side with the eraser). Did someone disagree with my non-binary finery and erase me from history? “As you can clearly see from this photo, no trans people swam at New Year. Only their reflections did.” I doubt it was anything like that. It’s easy to be outraged, and for a moment I was, but outrage isn’t useful so I waited a day before dealing with it.

I contacted the people involved with the photo, and while I was unable to have a direct chat with the person who edited it, I was told that it was deemed inappropriate for their social media page. Now, I’m not going to say who it was, because naming and shaming could cause unnecessary outrage, which I don’t want to see. They apologised and acknowledged that the photo should never have been used, and certainly never edited. I did not push the issue any further than that, as I doubted they would get into a discussion about gender and swimwear with me. They deemed my appearance inappropriate for their page, and mistakenly removed me from the photo. It is possible they were fearful of negative comments from the public or Facebook/Meta removing the post. Fair enough – and as they said, a different picture should have been used.

Whether edited out by Photoshop, AI tools on a phone, or by deciding to use a different photo, someone saw me and deemed my attire inappropriate. I honestly believe that it would not have been an issue if I were a woman in a full bikini. By saying that my bum was not appropriate, people are saying that what is appropriate is the continued sexualisation of the female form. How is that appropriate?

In an ideal world – which history suggests is remarkably flexible if you’re rich, white, and male – everyone should be free to wear what they want. Men, women and non-binary folk should be free to wear what they want to the beach. Surely seeing confident people out for a walk is better than us all hiding away under layers of black cloth? I am reminded of the phrase “You can’t be what you can’t see.” People can’t see me being confident, carefree and having fun. But if they did, would they react in a postive way towards me? Ultimately, is the problem really the outfit, or the response to the outfit?

Links

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• Why I Can’t Just Meet You for Dinner - by Fred Rossi. The Reality of Post-Exertional Malaise
• Live Music Should Be More Accessible For Disabled Fans. Disabled and high-risk people want transparency, safety, and an option for livestreams when concerts come back.
• Cold plunges and kombucha: Do winter wellness trends work?. Experts weigh in on whether cold water swimming, drinking kombucha and taking vitamins can boost your immune system.