It’s 7:30 am and dark. My world is rocking, and there’s a definite level of moistness to it. I’m sitting in my car, which is parked by a lake on the coast of Wirral, Merseyside, during Storm Darragh. Outside winds are gusting at around 64 mph (103 km/h). The rain is horizontally streaking across my windscreen, and the car is rocking so much it feels like it’s going to take off. For some reason, my only worry is about making the most of the morning instead of my normal fear of the world.

My friends head down the ramp to the water’s edge, and I grab my camera in an attempt to document their swim. They’re swimming, whereas I’m just here for a dip. I can barely stand still. The wind is blowing hard, and I look for something to hold on to. After getting what photos I can before the lens is covered in rain, I head back to my car to strip down to my swim briefs. Shiny, sparkly ones just because it’s quite the day.

Standing in the car park in tiny briefs I may as well be naked. There was no time to consider whether my briefs were on properly because the second I was out of my SmocSmoc (A Welsh Dryrobe) I felt every single rain drop. “Was it hailing now?” I thought. It wasn’t, but the speed of the horizontal rain felt like hail. Fascinating. Not something I’ve experienced before because normally one wears ALL the clothes before going out in a storm.

I got in the water and splashed about for about 2 - 3 minutes, waist-deep. The conditions were shockingly wild, and I didn’t want to push my luck too far by going neck deep. After all, I’ve spent years writing about my swimming anxiety. This is bold for me, but it is who I am trying to become.

Afterwards, I warmed up in my car and thought about the experience. If you described this to almost anyone other than the eight people who were there today, they would probably say it wasn’t for them. “How about this weekend, we go to the seaside? There are 64 mph gusts and torrential rain that feels like being shot at by a hail gun. The air temp feels like -9, and the water is maybe 5c. It will wreck you.” Most people would stay in bed, warm. 99%, I’m sure. Most people wouldn’t even go for a walk on an overcast day, let alone get almost naked in a car park when it feels like -9 out. So, why?

As I pondered the experience, I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone who was into BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism). From my outsider perspective, I never understood why anyone would engage in BDSM. I mean, ow. Why? The way they explained it, though, it was relatable. An experience outside of normal life. Something they had complete control over that helped them focus and to be in the moment. Sounded like cold water swimming. They only needed to say it set them up for the day, and it would be a perfect match.

Their description was fascinating and gave me a good insight into a world I have no real desire to explore. Oh I’ll photograph it if it comes up, because it’s good to be curious. No plans to pop a pair of nipple clamps on though. But was their experience just theirs or was there more to it? I asked science.

BDSM

Bottoms entered an altered state called “transient hypofrontality," which is associated with reductions in pain, feelings of floating, feelings of peacefulness, feelings of living in the here and now, and time distortions. Tops, in contrast, entered the altered state known as “flow” (Csikszentmihalyi, 1991), which is associated with focused attention, a loss of self-consciousness, and optimal performance of a task. We believe that these pleasurable altered states of consciousness might be one of the motivations that people have for engaging in BDSM activities. - Psychology Today

Cold Water Swimming

Research is showing that ice baths increase neurotransmitters that may help improve depression and anxiety. Depression is associated with low levels of the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine. Dopamine enhances goal-directed behaviour, mood, motivation, and focus. Norepinephrine increases energy and focus while contributing to the sleep-wake cycle, mood, and memory. A study showed that after a cold bath, dopamine levels increased by 250%, which lasted 2 hours later. Even more notable, norepinephrine levels increased by 530%. Given that SNRI medications for depression and anxiety also aim to increase norepinephrine levels, ice baths may help depression and anxiety. As well, it is possible that ice baths improve depression through an anti-inflammatory process. - Psychology Today

Huh. Now, I’m no scientist but there’s a few similar words in both quotes there. So I asked ChatGPT to give me a Buzzfeed style list and Venn Diagram.

1. Both involve intense physical sensations that can lead to euphoria.
2. Both release endorphins and adrenaline, creating a natural high.
3. Cold water swimming focuses on health and resilience, while BDSM explores pleasure and power dynamics.
4. Both require mental focus and willingness to embrace discomfort.
5. Cold water swimming is a wellness activity, while BDSM is personal or sexual exploration.

Fascinating, right? They both help in pain reduction, focusing and being in the moment, learning how to deal with discomfort and creating a natural high that sets you up for the day. A few years ago, I pondered whether skinny dipping is good for your mental health because it had similar parallels. It makes me think about a future where science could understand the specifics of what people need to have good mental health. Could there be a day when BDSM, skinny dipping or other activities are accepted by a wider audience because the data shows that they make us healthier? It would be nice to think so.

Eighteen months ago I could barely handle swimming in the lake due to jellyfish, and now here I am dipping in a storm. Anxiety is a silly thing. Never know how it’ll affect you until you’re standing there in sparkly pants waiting to see if it’ll spank you or pat you. Even then, you may find that spanking is what you prefer.

Links

• Legally recognise Non-Binary as a gender - Petitions. Many non-binary people in the UK currently feel invisible and ignored. Therefore, we think this government should seek to reform the Gender Recognition Act 2004 so that it extends legal recognition to a third, non-binary gender.
• Subspace: what is it and how can I get into the zone?. I used to hear people at BDSM clubs talking about subspace, and I don't think I ever got there through anything other than harsh, confusing, rapid fucking.
• Your Brain on BDSM: Why Getting Spanked and Tied Up Makes You Feel High. What happens in your head when you get flogged? Scientific researchers and professional dominatrixes talk about endorphins and all the other neurochemicals that make bondage so delightful.
• iPhone's Action Mode helps people with Parkinson's shoot videos. Apple puts a lot of effort into promoting accessibility with things like the hearing aid feature for AirPods Pro. This...
• Erin's Guide To The Holidays For Transgender People And Family. Holidays can be very hard for trans people. They don't have to be.
• Make it a happy inclusive Christmas - Codebreakers. Make it a happy and inclusive Christmas for everyone. We know not everyone LOVES Christmas. For many adults it’s all about racing round and we might actually get 10 mins peace a quiet and the chance to watch a Christmas re run of one of our favourites, with a glass of something and a tub […]