> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://pete.news/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Mens changing is upstairs, sir. - URL: https://pete.news/hellocomputer/mens-changing-is-upstairs-sir/ - Published: 2024-04-14T13:00:28.000Z - Updated: 2024-04-14T13:00:28.000Z - Description: I went shopping in the city wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I was invisible to the world until I took a t-shirt dress to the gender neutral changing room where I was told, "the men's room is upstairs." *sigh* - Author: Pete Carr - Tags: #HelloComputer, HelloComputer, trans, non-binary --- # Men’s changing is upstairs sir I went into the city wearing jeans, not a skirt and had a 90% wonderful time. No one was staring at me like I was naked. Men didn’t film me. Some people were looking at my purple beard, but generally, I walked through town unnoticed and felt calm. It was refreshing and fun. I was wearing women’s jeans in pink, but only I knew they were women’s. A fun bit of subversion. I bought some art supplies, saw people dancing in the streets, bought new mango nail polish, enjoyed the warmth of the sun and tried on leggings in a sports store without any issue. The staff were great. They asked if I needed any help and didn’t blink when I went to the gender-neutral mixed human changing rooms with clothes from both sides of the binary. Unfortunately, the leggings didn’t quite fit, but it was nice to try. After I went to another store to try their leggings. They were bland but they had some clothes that caught my eye. I’ve shopped there a few times without issue, even when I went to the women’s department in a skirt with a sequin skirt and top to try on. They were fine and didn’t direct me to another changing room. Until, today. I approached the female assistant with my clothes, which included a dress, and she said: “The men’s changing is upstairs, sir.” I should have said, “I identify as non-binary, not a sir looking for the men’s changing.” Instead, I said I’ve been here before to which she replied “And they let you in?” *ugh* She let me in once I said yes. I know the store policy is gender-neutral. Secure lockable cubicles for any identity. I knew this because I’d seen the outrage it caused online and I’ve tested it in person where I was not turned away. Thankfully I was able to speak to someone at the store afterwards and they agreed with me, apologised and said they would speak to the assistant. That was nice. I appreciated that as I spent half the time in the changing room finding evidence to show to the assistant when I came out. For the record, the store was [Marks and Spencer and they've publicly stated that their changing rooms are gender neutral](https://www.thepinknews.com/2022/11/29/marks-and-spencer-trans-changing-room-policy/). Trans and non-binary folk should not fear shopping there and trying on clothes wherever they want. The event didn’t spoil my day thanks to the apology but it did throw me a little. I enjoy playing with clothes in ways I never did. It’s a creative outlet for me and a way of being a bit punk. Finding clothes that fit is hard enough, but when I also have to test the gender policies of the store it can be too much. For a brief moment today, when I presented in the way society expects, the world ignored me and I was calm. When I dared to show my true self I was met with confusion. It’s exhausting constantly having to push to be seen so I can one day be unseen. ![A rainbow road leads up to the main church in Reykjavik.](https://pete.news/content/images/2024/04/Rainbow-Road-Iceland-DSC_3871---Pete-Carr.jpg) A rainbow road leads up to the main church in Reykjavik. ## Photos This week’s photos are from a trip to Iceland. A selection of affordable prints from my travels around the world are available on my [archive print store](https://archives.petecarr.net/gallery-collection/Print-Library/C0000pPHK9YwJKC4). --- ![As the sun sets a church is nicely lit against a dark and stormy sky by a lake.](https://pete.news/content/images/2024/04/Reykjavik--Iceland-reykjavik-iceland-3896---Pete-Carr.jpg) As the sun sets a church is nicely lit against a dark and stormy sky by a lake. --- ## Transporter room - [The Assembly review – Michael Sheen is grilled by 35 neurodivergent young people … and it’s pure TV joy | Television | The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2024/apr/05/the-assembly-review-michael-sheen-is-grilled-by-35-neurodivergent-young-people-and-its-pure-tv-joy) - [Pharmacotherapy in autism spectrum disorders, including promising older drugs warranting trials - PMC](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10294139/) - [Kristie De Garis Photography - Based in Perthshire and Working Throughout Scotland. Digital and Film Photography: 35mm and Medium Format](https://www.kristiedegaris.com/blog/memory-stronger-than-stone-translating-the-poem) - [You can’t ban trans people from the pool – just ask Out To Swim](https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/fitness/out-to-swim-accessible-lgbt-swimming-interview/) - [Full article: The Cass Review: Cis-supremacy in the UK’s approach to healthcare for trans children](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/26895269.2024.2328249) - [The Cass review: An explainer - Attitude](https://www.attitude.co.uk/news/the-cass-review-explainer-463447/) --- ![A road weaves between green fields with mountains in the background.](https://pete.news/content/images/2024/04/Iceland-iceland-5038---Pete-Carr.jpg) A road weaves between green fields with mountains in the background. ![Clouds roll over a mountain in the distance. In the foregound houses seem tiny compared to the mountain ranges.](https://pete.news/content/images/2024/04/-iceland-5395---Pete-Carr.jpg) Clouds roll over a mountain in the distance. In the foregound houses seem tiny compared to the mountain ranges.