hello friend

Hi. You ok? I’m… better. On Sunday, while listening to a podcast on mental health, I noticed some things I had been feeling matched up with the podcasters description of a nervous breakdown. I googled and while I’m not a professional I saw similarities. Whether I was having one or on the edge of one I can’t say.

Symptoms include;

• depressive symptoms, such as loss of hope and thoughts of  suicide  or  self-harm
• anxiety with  high blood pressure , tense muscles,  clammy hands ,  dizziness , upset stomach, and trembling or shaking
• insomnia
• hallucinations
• extreme mood swings  or unexplained outbursts
• panic attacks , which include chest pain, detachment from reality and self, extreme fear, and difficulty breathing
• paranoia , such as believing someone is watching you or stalking you
• flashbacks of a traumatic event, which can suggest undiagnosed  post-traumatic stress disorder  (PTSD)

I think I had depressive symptoms, unending anxiety, mood swings and possibly panic attacks doing anything.

Everything got to me. So I turned it all off. The only time I’ve really disconnected and relaxed was a beach in Croatia where there’s nothing to do. Breakfast was the same each day as was lunch and tea was, for me anyway, a choice of 2 things. There were no decisions to make. No photos to take after the first day. I needed that. So I turned everything off and it’s helped. No news. No social media. I didn’t touch my phone for 2 days. It just sat there by the bed. Drastic for me but I really needed something before I got any worse. I even stopped my daily photo diary because I didn’t want to do anything.

It’s a few days on and I’m doing ok. I’m not sure when I’ll go back to social media. I’ve been naughty and checked the news once or twice but not every hour as I was. My phone is back in my pocket but honestly I have no need for it outside of photographing my cats.

These are stressful and complicated times. Please do reach out if you need to talk to me or better yet Mind. If you can’t cope ring your GP. They will offer emergency help. Talk to the Samaritans too.

photos

A few nice photos of rainbows from Iceland because why not?

beam out

My favourite comedian, Mr John Robertson, is doing a 48 hr live stream event starting tonight (Friday 10th April) at 7pm.

Raising money for  NHS Charities  for medical workers and volunteers helping deal with COVID-19 and  Mind – The Mental Health Charity . Please donate!

You can watch the show at  twitch.tv/robbotron , please follow him on there if you haven’t, so you can play in the chat!

We’ve got SPECIAL GUESTS including: pro wrestler Colt Cabana, gaming legend Ian Livingstone, Brendon Burns, Frankie Ward, Desiree Burch, DeAnne Smith, DAGames, Rage Darling, Ashens, Sooz Kempner, pirate balladeers Jollyboat, Knightmare Live, sex columnist Alix Fox, Octav1us, Elf Lyons and a host of some of the best comedians on the planet giving up their time for a silly idea for a good cause.

It’ll be manic fun. Stop by. Enjoy. Donate. Good causes.