Skirts are back

After a few months of being afraid of the male gaze, I'm chosing to ignore it and wear fun skirts again.

Milna, Hvar Island in Croatia.

Skirts are back

Skirts are back in my life. For a while now I’ve felt too scared to wear them outside, and while the world is possibly worse now, I’m choosing to be defiant and wear skirts again. That said, I skipped wearing one when I went to a comedy club the other day. I wanted an easy night, time off from being judged. However, upon arrival, I found the club quiet and easygoing. In my desire for a calm night and to avoid the judgement of others, I wrongly judged the club.

I need to do more to stop judging/fearing places I’ve never been. That annoying, anxious voice in my head is telling me that “What if?” is exactly what will be, and I should be afraid. Nope, wrong. That future of me being afraid only comes to pass if I accept it. What if I accept another future? Instead of walking into a space looking for confirmation bias of people judging me, what if I ignore everyone because I’m assuming they’re all cool with me? What if I believe that people are mostly fine and that my fear/judgement of them is more of an issue than my skirt?

Nice idea, right? All good on paper. The thing is, as I’ve confidently or casually walked around the city centre, men have angrily beeped their car horns at me, shouted at me from passing vehicles, filmed me with 360 cameras, and in the most casual nonchalant way said homophobic slurs as they walked past me. These experiences leave me depressed, drained and overloaded, causing me to shut down and retreat to a safe space. The anxious voice in my head has reason to be afraid, and yet I have to believe that the world outside is OK if I go out in it. I know it isn’t, but what other choice is there? Sit at home and wait until it is, which it likely won’t be in my lifetime, or get out there and try to make the best of it.

My Safety Blanket Skirts - The Beskirted Man. I have a certain set of skirts I wear when going out in public and not feeling confident about my skirt-wearing. These are my "safety blanket skirts".