What 5 years of cold water swimming has done for me

After 5 years of cold water dipping, has it saved me? Cured my anxiety? Made me buy shares in Dryrobe?

5th anniversary dip in New Brighton Marine Lake.

What 5 years of cold water swimming has done for me

I celebrated my 5th anniversary of cold water dipping in January 2025 and decided to look back through my archives to see how the journey has been. Had I overcome anxiety and my fear of jellyfish? Did cold water dipping save me like some Guardian lifestyle article suggested it should? After five years I believe it hasn’t saved me, but certainly helped. I would say it is like meditating, or indeed anything in life. It’s a practice and you need to practice it. Maybe you’ll feel something after an isolated dip, but you need to do it often and for a long time to see the change in yourself.

After five years I still struggle with daily anxiety, weekly depression, imposter syndrome, and the general feeling that I’m failing at life except I think I understand it a bit better now. Those feelings are just the way of things. Not to sound too much like an inspirational poster from a wellness Facebook group, but darkness takes over when light fades or, more simply, entropy happens.

We all remember the laws of thermodynamics right? Cool, but just as a refresher here’s some science. The second law of thermodynamics is a fundamental principle of physics that governs the direction of natural processes. It essentially states that an isolated system’s total entropy (a measure of disorder within a system) can only increase over time or remain constant in ideal cases. While the second law states that entropy increases in spontaneous processes, it's important to note that some processes can be reversed by putting in energy. Disorder naturally increases in systems unless energy is put in.

In wellness woo-woo terms, darkness is the default unless you put energy, aka light, into a system. By default, everything that exists will naturally go bad unless you actively work against it. My brain defaults to that and if I don’t actively work against it I become consumed by it. Depression takes over. Cold water dipping is how I rebel, how I put energy into me as an often isolated system. If I start the day this way I’ve started with a small win for me. I’ve proven to myself that I can do something most can’t. This small win is shared with friends outdoors as the sun rises and the oil tankers pass by. It’s an odd place, but fun.

Of course, it’s all very easy to type this into a text file and feel smug about what I’ve learnt about myself over these past five years. I could sell inspirational posters and do Ted talks about how cold water swimming changed my life. But I won’t, because of a little quote from The Matrix. “There’s knowing the path, and walking the path.” Sure I know what I should do, but do I? I often fail to apply this lesson to other parts of my life, at least not as strongly as I do with swimming. What would my career be like if I could only simply put the energy in to prevent decay? It’s all well and good starting the day with a cold water dip, but the energy from that dip fades. I’m left, as a disabled photographer, feeling like I’m trying to run after a train that everyone else casually took a comfortable taxi to. It takes all my energy to figure out how to catch the train while everyone else has already got off. Small wins though. I doubt anyone else on the train could say they started the day by running into the sea during winter.

After 5 years, has getting cold been worth it? Before I did my first dip in 2020 I wrote;

Around 2 years ago I saw a video about someone who would swim naked every day in the lakes of Wales. That seemed a level up on everything. Not only where they swimming in random lakes but naked too? A thought developed in my head. I’d like to be the kind of person who does that. Maybe not really but I’d rather be the kind of person who does that than the kind of person who thinks people like that are crazy. I guess I would like to be the kind of person who doesn’t fear living as much as I do. - Worry Dipping, Jan 2020.

Today, after 5 years.

Interestingly, the past few dips I’ve done have been anxiety-free. Slowly, with love and support, progress. - Has 5 years of cold water dipping liberated me from my fears?

Me in 2025 being bold, brave and courageous.

That's me totally naked and visibly fighting against my own personal entropy. I'm saying no to anxiety and depression in such a silly way by running into the sea wearing nothing at all. OK, I'm wearing swim socks because it's cold, duh. That's me realising I have become the person I wanted to be back in 2017, and not because some algorithm recommend it but because I spent five years learning about myself in so many ways. Cold water dipping has helped me see that when I have the energy to challenge myself, it's worth using that energy and that this philosophy can be applied to every corner of my life. This is what the NHS psychatrist was helping me to understand when I had CBT (Cogantive Behavioural Therapy) in 2023. No matter how you feel, it's important to get things done. It has taken a while but thanks to swimming, various little nudges and writing out my thoughts I can see the real value of cold water dipping.

Get naked. Get in the sea. Rebel.

Highlights

A few other cold water dipping highlights from over the years.

Body Confidence

12 years ago I was 23 stone. I wore all black and multiple layers to hide how overweight I was. I hated being seen because generally I was only ever seen as a fat man. Today I’m 16 stone (ish). If people see me now they see someone doing things they might not have the confidence to do. They see someone being themselves. They see someone fighting anxiety to better themselves. - Confidence

Becoming non-binary

...would I have ever come out as trans non-binary without wild swimming in the UK? That is a fascinating thought. Did I naturally have the confidence to walk around in a skirt with makeup on, or have the past 3 years helped with my body issues and given me the confidence to see the non-binary person inside me all this time? - 3rd anniversary of cold water swimming

Being in a safe space to wear whatever I want

Why can I wear a towel robe (it’s a dress) to change in after swimming but not a dress on a hot day when I walk back from the lake? Logically taking one loose-fitting, free-flowing dress that lets the wind get places (and from wearing the towel dress robe this year wind gets…places) makes more sense than taking shorts and a t-shirt. he/they is non-binary now

Highlighted anxiety issues and slowly helped me deal with them

Recently, I was interviewed about swimming and anxiety. In the build-up to being interviewed, I felt like a fraud. How can I be a good example of how swimming helps with anxiety when I’m still facing anxiety while swimming? I returned to the water and kept swimming. Exposure therapy and challenging negative thoughts can be a way to overcome such issues. I was scared and while my fears were confirmed every few minutes, I kept swimming. Swimming anxiety, July 2023.

I want to be OK with things that aren’t perfect. OK with the fact I exist. OK with who I am and what I can do. OK with my body, my work, my house. OK with weirdos who film me when I’m out for a walk (it’s not OK in the way they do that but I don’t know why they are, so I’m choosing to be OK with it). I want to be OK and live.
To that end, I started the year with a splash about in the cold January water, with big waves, while wearing a thong on a crowded beach with people I know. Why? The poster said "Fancy dress" and I figured this was fancy. However, when I arrived I was a little too nervous. While I may be OK with my body am I OK with my bum being seen by my friends? - 2024's Yearly Theme, Jan 2024.

Shown I can do things

I’ve written about this before and I find it fascinating. I can swim around in January in my tiny swimming briefs with a purple beard, and lipstick on, feeling confident. If anyone tried to say anything about my appearance, I know that they would not have the confidence to be me. Somehow, I’m good at this. It empowers me. People I spoke to at the exhibition launch last night thought I was bananas for doing cold water swims. Yet, I do, and I can when I notice my alarm. How am I, Mixter Autistic over here, doing that with confidence but nothing else in my life? - Things I can do, March 2023.

Skinny dips

It was cold but I soon acclimatised and enjoyed it. I was actually swimming in a big Welsh lake almost totally naked as the sun set over Snowdon in the distance. It was amazing. At one point a stranger appeared and took some panorama photos. I’m not even sure if they saw me. If they did they certainly didn’t shout “Naked man!” The water was ridiculously clear too. It was beautiful and I felt so at ease with the world. I sat naked on the rocks for some photos to remember the moment and to really push myself. Anxiety never came. I felt alive. - Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous. October 2021.

It is fascinating that so many people are doing cold water swimming for mental health reasons and yet society isn’t really pushing the envelope. People are risking hypothermia and being swept out to sea by walking into cold water in speedos and bikinis yet to do it naked would be truly weird. It isn’t weird. It feels great to remove all obstacles between you and the water. You feel more connected to the moment than you can in man-made fibres. You are fully integrated into nature not hiding away inside an encounter suit. You feel a bit of adrenaline doing something risky and silly too. As an adult, I don’t think we have enough experiences like this in our lives. It’s one problem to the next. We’re not free enough to be silly. - Is skinny dipping good for mental health? May 2022.

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What 5 years of cold water swimming has done for me

What 5 years of cold water swimming has done for me