What’s it like to wear a skirt as a non-binary person?

What’s it like to wear a skirt as a non-binary person?

What is it like to wear a skirt as an AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth)? Complicated, but also nice. I like the flow of a skirt on a breezy day. Almost cape like. Should I get a cape now? Capes are cool. Anyway, I do enjoy how a skirt moves as you walk. It’s fun.

However, too much of a good thing is bad for you, and if a skirt flows just that bit too much then you’ve flashed a group of nuns. Not a good look. It’s fascinating figuring out just what angle the wind needs to come at to get you. Not something I’d have imagined I’d be thinking about in 2022. But here we are, and I now understand that if you stand by a cash point on a windy day you’re likely to find your skirt slapping you across your face. Wear good underwear. That’s my advice.

In a world without bigotry where everyone was simply cool with diversity and people were free to happily go about their lives, days when your skirt blows up revealing your underwear would be taken in good spirits. I don’t think we are quite there yet, though.

In the past year, I’ve had a lot of fun wearing a skirt. I’ve had late night Marilyn Monroe moments in Paris and amazing compliments from complete strangers that make you think life is actually worth living. But I’ve also found that the quickest way to find out who someone really is, is to wear a skirt. The reaction from some people to someone wearing shorts without the middle bit is shocking. Truly shocking. Go outside in a skirt, and you’ll see the world in a whole new light.

Men stare, smirk, comment, take photos, take videos and become irrationally confused and hateful. It’s almost like you’ve slapped them across their face with their man parts. They can’t process what just happened, and their brain falls apart. All because of cloth. It’s so stupid. Obviously, they all really like my look, but they could never admit it. They fear god would take their erections away and without them, just what are they? Poor dears.

Joking aside, wearing a skirt has had some real issues. I’ve had someone I know ban my skirts from their house. I was welcome. Skirts were not. It was an odd thing to hear. I tried to understand it, but failed. In the end I decided that while they clearly had stuff to work out that it was their house and their rules.

Was that the right thing to do? I’m not certain. I went with my gut instinct and thought WWJLPD? What would Jean-Luc Picard do? The Federation teaches you to respect other’s viewpoints and local laws and customs, even if you disagree with them. Who am I to walk into someone else’s world and say, “Oh, you don’t wanna be doing it like that!” Even if I fundamentally disagree, I should still find a way to co-exist, so we can talk openly and calmly. Unfortunately, no such dialogue was forthcoming.

The experience was eye-opening. It reminded me of a scene from a TV show I saw where a closeted lesbian came out to her boss. His reaction was shocking. Revulsion. No empathy. Just shock and disgust. This character had spent most of the show championing women. He hired them when others wouldn’t. He believed in diversity, so it seemed. Not only that, he was a tough boss, but he meant well. People would have respected him and felt he was a good community man. But they never knew the real man behind all that. This show was set in the 1970s, so a different time. Worlds away from today… you would hope.

Watching that show and thinking back to my experience made me think about many other great community focused people there must be out there who have done wonders for the world but suddenly turn bigot when you wear a skirt. It’s entirely possible that years ago I was also prejudiced against male presenting people wearing skirts because binary ideas of what you should wear are everywhere and it takes years to break free. You have to be open to the idea that you’ve got some outdated views inside you before you can try to remove them. That isn’t an easy thing to achieve. But if you want to see behind the curtain of the world, go for a walk in a skirt and see how people react. You’ll be amazed. Meanwhile, skirt go spinny! Weeee.

Weekly email features Captains Log, fascinating links and more photos