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2024's Yearly Theme

Each year I set a theme to guide me through the days ahead. Last year was the 'Year of Queer'. What will this year's be?

2024's Yearly Theme

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This week’s photos are from New York made on my medium format camera.

Standing beneath the Empire State Building. It towers over the building next to it.
Standing beneath the Empire State Building. It towers over the building next to it.

Yearly theme for 2024

Each year I set a theme for the year. I believe New Year resolutions are doomed to fail and that failure can be a trigger for anxiety and depression. Instead, I bypass all that and set a theme which is more of an idea for the year than something to 100% achieve. This is inspired by Myke and Grey from the Cortex Podcast.

Previously my Yearly Themes have been

  • 2021 - Year of Something Else
  • 2022 - Year of Courage and Connection
  • 2023 - Year of Queer

Last year, the Year of Queer. I know that these are just themes for the year but when I missed the biggest queer festival of the year due to my foot issues, I felt depressed. Depressed at missing its 20th year and depressed at “failing”. Silly old brain eh. On the flip side, my foot was fine for Eurovision aka Queer Fest! That was 2023 for me, and possibly the entire 2020s. There’s a load of Eurovision photos on my portfolio site if you’re interested. I also wrote about it in this newsletter.

I learnt what life was like for queer people in Ukraine. Imagine fighting for your home when your home does not accept your identity. The message was to “Stay Queer. No Matter War.” Be you. Dance. Hug. Kiss. Run. Love. Be you. I doubt I would have the strength to be Ukrainian.

Outside of Eurovision, I tried to see as many queer comedy, TV, movies, gigs as my health would allow for. Highlights include;

  • Our flag means death
  • Sex Education
  • Doctor Who
  • Good Omens Season 2
  • The Last of Us - that episode
  • The Sandman

I’ve got a long list of shows/movies to catch up on too. I’ve got decades to catch up on and things to rewatch from a fresh perspective.

Overall, the year was queer.

2024’s theme - Year of being OK

After Eurovision, I found my anxiety was a rollercoaster. Harmless jellyfish in our local lake made me have panic attacks. I started to realise I do not have a handle on my anxiety, and it warps every aspect of my life. I need to have a handle on it. So my theme for this year is “Being OK”.

I want to be OK with things that aren’t perfect. OK with the fact I exist. OK with who I am and what I can do. OK with my body, my work, my house. OK with weirdos who film me when I’m out for a walk (it’s not OK in the way they do that but I don’t know why they are, so I’m choosing to be OK with it). I want to be OK and live.

To that end, I started the year with a splash about in the cold January water, with big waves, while wearing a thong on a crowded beach with people I know. Why? The poster said "Fancy dress" and I figured this was fancy. However, when I arrived I was a little too nervous. While I may be OK with my body am I OK with my bum being seen by my friends?

What changed my mind was when loads of women took off their warm gear to reveal their bikinis. They had their bums out. What’s wrong with me having mine out? Why are women’s bums OK but not male bums? Maybe they are? I haven’t done any real market research into this but go to a beach and you’ll see women in thongs, not men. Why? Having worn one a few times now they’re very comfy. Are men afraid of male bums? It’s a bum, not a dentist with a hammer. I’m reminded of the Madonna song ‘What If Feels Like to be a Girl’.

Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots 'cause it's okay to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like wouldn't you?
What it feels like for a girl

That moment when the women in bikinis ran into the waves I thought “Bums! Screw it. Year of being OK. I want to be OK with being daft.” I quickly changed and proudly walked (the tide was far out) to the water. I faced the waves and the looks. I laughed, smiled and I walked back proudly feeling OK. I put whatever fear was in my head aside and lived. I do warn you, watch those waves. Things... move.

I hope that some day my bum can inspire others to free their minds. In the spirit of that, I present to you my OK bum. May it inspire.

A male bodied non-binary person standing knee deep in the water. They have their back to the camera and are wearing only a blue thong.
A happy non-binary person laughs as a wave crashes into them. They have a purple beard and blue eye liner on.
A happy non-binary person wearing only a tiny blue thong raises their fists in the air while the waves crash around them.

Brain: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “It’s OK. It’ll be OK.“

The 'Year of Being OK'.

People standing in Central Park, NYC, looking at the skyline of skyscrapers seemingly growing out the treeline.
People standing in Central Park, NYC, looking at the skyline of skyscrapers seemingly growing out the treeline.
The New York skyline at dusk. There are reminents of an old wrotten pier in the river. The Empire State Building stands taller than the buildings around it.
The New York skyline at dusk. There are reminents of an old wrotten pier in the river. The Empire State Building stands taller than the buildings around it.

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