Embracing Eurovision

People keep asking me, “You must be exhausted?” Sure, I have no current concept of time and I feel like I’m swaying like I’ve spent 10 hours on a boat, but exhausted? No.

Eurovision has been ADHD candy. 10 days of something to photograph. This energy overpowers my autistic sensory issues. I spent a few hours doing portraits of people on the street. Going up to strangers, chatting and asking if I could photograph them. That’s my ADHD giving me power to overcome social anxiety. On an average day, I couldn’t attend one of those breakfast network meeting events and small talk to strangers in an attempt to build business connections. Put me in a sparkly dress, pink hat, colourful tights in a safe space filled with like-minded fun people and I can somehow thrive.

It’s possible that my autistic special interest superpower came into play here. I’ve grown to love Eurovision. As soon as the playlist came out, it was on repeat non-stop. Music is a big sensory toy for me. I can stick 1 song on all day and not get bored. It powers me. So to have all these new tracks to enjoy on repeat 24/7 was great. Not only that, but I kept hearing them everywhere in the city. It was like being at a Star Trek convention held in a version of San Francisco that had been remodelled to look like 25th century Starfleet headquarters. Everywhere was my special interest. Everyone was into it. Autism overload in the best possible way.

It’s been refreshing to have clarity this week. No over thinking about bags, camera gear or whether I’m doing what I should be with my life. 100% clarity of purpose. This event is happening. Everything in that bag lets me do my job. Away I go. That’s been great. I often spend days overthinking setups and worrying throughout the job. I always do a good job and clients come back, but I know in the back of my mind there’s a voice saying, “If only this lens or that lens…” I had none of that this week. The voice of anxiety was quiet and content.

Eurovision has absolutely given me a place to perform as a photographer. It’s given me confidence because I can see what powers me and what I can do with that. I am at my best when my special interests align with a new experience. Social anxiety, overthinking, fear, doubt, and disbelief all fade away. I let it all go. My mind is free and clear to create.

Send me to Sweden?