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This week’s photos are from a trip to Budapest. Such an enjoyable wander around Europe.

Going to a gig with ADHD

I went to a gig the other night and realised my perfect gig setting might be only possible via the Apple Vision Pro’s immersion features. I tried so hard to be in the moment.

Me: “Focus on the music. Listen to the music.” Brain: “Can’t hear the lyrics. Oh, what’s that?” Me: “No no! Focus on the beat then. That bass line. Tap your foot. Listen to it.” Brain: “OK. Nice beat. Toes tapping. This OK?” Me: “Yeah. I’m doing it. I’m focusing.” Brain: “Cool. Would you like to make some notes on that? Maybe craft a post on social media?” Me: “What, now? I’m just trying to focus.” Brain: “But this seems like a good thing to note down.” Me: “Fine. Quick note. Back to the beat.” Brain: “Beats and toes and beats and toes and is that guy vaping?” Me: “No no no. Stay on target. Oh, he is. What? No! Bass!” Brain: “Beats and that’s an odd jacket? Am I too close to this person? Is that picture about to fall off? What do I do with this empty can now? If I go find a bin will someone take my spot next to my wife? Remember that discussion about neurodivergent labelling?” Me: “I give up. I need to be in the pit taking photos to be focused at a gig.”

This is my normal experience at a gig, cinema, play, etc. I can’t be in the moment, which is why I prefer to be behind the camera doing something. While that works, I can’t spend my life behind the camera. Sometimes it is nice to watch a gig, see a movie or be part of an event. It has to grab me though. Avengers: Endgame, The Matrix, The Chemical Brothers at Bluedot are rare experiences where I remember being so engrossed in what I was seeing that I was truly in the moment.

It’s annoying that ADHD/Autism means I can be super into something in a way that others can’t, but I have no control over it. What it would be like to let go and be in the moment.